Boomers . . . and How They Got That Way
Epistle 22 – Y2K Revisited
Ten years ago I bought my last bundle of firewood. It is still waiting patiently to make it from the garage to the fireplace. Apparently, we’re not what you’d call warm-and-cozy-by-the-fire people. Maybe that’s because our first house had a nifty raised hearth fireplace beside a plush white rug that I tried to set on fire with a fake log made of sawdust and cardboard. According to the natural right-out-of-the-forest paper wrapper, the log would burn with multi-colored flames while it crackled romantically in your fireplace. It also exploded when combined with a match.
Anyway, this is not about my lifetime of fireplace misadventures. It’s about the end of the world, which was supposed to happen at the stroke of midnight on December 31, 1999 as the globe spun from the Dark Ages to the bright new millennium. That’s because computers under the evil influence of Hal from 2001—A Space Odyssey had taken over the world and would bring total chaos to planet Earth with one tick of the clock. Electricity would stop electrifying, motors would stop motoring and all the beer would turn warm. Critically ill patients undergoing open-heart surgery would be left in the dark on the operating table; planes would plunge from the sky; and telemarketers would never be able to interrupt your dinner again. The end of time ain’t all bad.
Well, ten years ago was the last time I bought firewood and the last time I stayed up until midnight on New Year’s Eve. I guess I figured if the world was going to come to an end, I should be around to witness it. Now, how much sense does that make? Whether I was awake or not, who was I going to tell about it? Maybe somebody from Borneo who didn’t have a computer, but how was I going to get in touch? Mail him a letter? Maybe. The odds of my letter making it couldn’t have been much worse without the Post Office.
As I sat nervously watching the clock and my wife (if she got hysterical, I would have to slap her), I thought about all those other times people predicted the end of the world. They usually had robes and ponytails instead of computers, but the message was always the same. Whether we were to be vaporized or depart in an alien spacecraft, it was all over and there was nothing we could do about it. Except sell all our stuff and follow the prophet to the mountaintop. But why sell all the stuff? What were we going to buy with it? I guess prophets have a lot of expenses.
I’ll bet by now you boys and girls have figured out that the world did not come to an end at the stroke of midnight on December 31, 1999. Not even geeks could kill it. And I figured out to whom I was supposed to give my money. The fake firewood seller.
We Will Win
Filed under: Boomers . . . and How They Got That Way
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One of the ideas that this Boomer Babe has brought from the 1960s to the 21st Century and 2K10, is I don’t like “fake.”
I don’t have a fireplace–infact, I’d probably rather have a Franklin stove. I have neither, so perhaps, I’m not entitled to my opinion, but I’m pretty sure, if I had one or the other, I would not buy a fake log to see a color show.
I’d rather chop down a tree and split the wood myself. I am not too concerned about global warming, I guess. I would love to plant a tree or two or even three for every one that “bites the dust,” though.
I believe everybody should live like today was the last day. Think, “Today is at end.” Lock the night with prayer and if you wake to see morning light, use prayer to unlock the day before you.
Praise God!
One of the ideas that this Boomer Babe has brought from the 1960s to the 21st Century and 2K10, is I don’t like “fake.” I’ve always had an appreciation for “the real thing.”
I don’t have a fireplace–infact, I’d probably rather have a Franklin stove. Since I have neither, perhaps, I’m not entitled to my opinion, but I’m pretty sure, if I had one or the other, I would not buy a “fake” log to see a color show.
I’d rather chop down a tree and split the wood myself. I am not too concerned about global warming, I guess. I would love to plant a tree or two or even three for every one that “bites the dust,” though–just because they are so beautiful. I do believe we need a fair exchange of oxygen for carbon dioxide, but I’m willing to trust God to take care of all of that. He’s lead us to do what we need to do to continue to promote a healthy life–if it’s His will.
I believe everybody should live like today was the last day. Think, “Today is at end.” Lock the night with prayer and if you wake to see morning light, use prayer to unlock the day before you.
Know, love and serve God and one another. What else matters? Have FUN doing it!
Praise God!